so how i suddenly understand
not hoping means no disappointment
not look back into the past means no missing
not caring means no bother
maybe every1 should just live life looking only at the future and moving ahead with full speed....
maybe all this will adds up to happiness and bring a smile to our faces

some how i feel lost and lonely now..i don have friends i don have dreams i don have nothing...why did life turn out like this no one understands, i don understand and it is really god damn scary to feel this way everything is so unknow and i'm lost i just wanna run away
seeing my brother now i envy him
even though he is in army now at least his life feel real and he knows that what he needs to do...
what am i to do?what am i to do?what am i to do?what am i to do?
i need an answer in the inside i'm running wild!!!!
pls show me!!! pls!!! even the first step is good enough
at least i'll know which path to go
i'm scare i'm really scare..why is this so hard what will to future be?
I'M SO SCARE & NOW I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING IS FAKE..
I HAVE NOTHING..I HAVE NOTHING...I DON LIKE THIS..
AND NOBODY UNDERSTANDS HOW THIS FEELS I DONNO WHO TO TURN but i need help


"Be thankful for what have happened because it will be a part of your life experience. And even though whatever that had happened cannot be altered, everything will turn out fine."
a line from junjun to amanda..somehow it gives me strength..